Anticipating Spring

Yes, I'm ready for spring. Here in the Rockies one can imagine on these warmer days that spring is around the corner. It is, but not around an immediate corner.

I had a start this morning when I looked through the photographs that I had transferred to "pictures" from my Olympus site. Many of those that aren't of friends and family are titled "end of" something. Some of these photos I have used on this blog. That sounds a bit depressing, even when titled "beauty at the end of ...."

Today I'm fast forwarding to spring and thinking of new beginnings. Yes, the flower photos are from last year's early hikes. Those of you from the South have a jump on us. Some of you have blossoms in your gardens all year around. My photos are of last year's early wildflowers--my only garden these days.

Wildflowers. Wild blossomings. Perhaps this later in life time allows for tapping into our natural wildness. I'm referring to our deep Divine selves that are willing to risk trying out new things, putting ourselves out there in new ways, risking failure, dissolving walls and extending our love and compassion.

For me this means risking more rejections from agent queries to represent my memoir. It means reminding my friend who said she would help to find time to keep her promise. It means finding places to give my nature and healing talks--and including photos that represent the stark side of nature as well as her beauty. It means extending a hand in a different way and allowing myself to identify with others who have been damaged in similar ways.

I've stayed in easy places--centering prayer groups, church groups. Even in my role as a board member of our local CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates) non-profit, which works with neglected and abused children in Boulder County, few know how much I could have used a CASA in my childhood--not that such programs existed then.

I like to look good, to cover my scars, to talk about healing as if it comes easily (and perhaps for some few it does). Being vulnerable in new ways is a challenge. Telling my story in ways that let those who hear reach deep inside themselves and find their own buried wounds and bring them up for healing is a delicate balance. Telling just enough--not so much that feeling sorry for me is the reaction. Understanding which stories resonate with a particular audience. It would seem that I need a series--so on one occasion I might use numbers 1, 3 and 5. On another nos. 2, 4 and 6. Something like that. Then the photos would have to be versatile too. Just brainstorming.

What in your life has a new beginning, a new way of seeing or being? Where is a place that you have been hiding and might be willing to be seen?

Anticipating spring makes me smile. Warm sunny days are comforting. Wildflowers bend in the wind and straighten back up. They share their beauty indiscriminately. Can we do the same?